


Young, Dumb, and Clumsy Hearts

by silentghost



Series: tsundere cafe au [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste is a Weeb, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Established Relationship, F/M, Future Poly, Kagami Tsurugi is Confused, Maid Cafe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Whipped, Meet-Cute, Multi, Pre-Relationship, This is just silly, but is it rlly cute if it's at someone's job and it's a maid cafe?, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25854052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentghost/pseuds/silentghost
Summary: Adrien and Marinette go to a tsundere cafe.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi
Series: tsundere cafe au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891663
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Young, Dumb, and Clumsy Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i'm posting this before my very first adrigaminette fic (which i'm not even close to done writing, oops)
> 
> y'know the snl korea skit with shinee member taemin? here's parts [one,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RK6k0Hx2fCA) [two,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcqnUtmnxUk) and [three](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0FzvHl-vMg) if you don't
> 
> it's in the tags but i'll say once again that they're all aged up n in their 20s !! no teen is participating in fanservice on my watch 🔪🔪

"Welcome to the Tundere Cafe, what do you want."

Despite the practiced greeting Kagami has to do a double take when the next couple of patrons walk in. The two just look so  _ normal _ , so tame in their casual outfits compared to the giggly groups of highschoolers or the hardcore weebs that visit on the regular. 

She should know, working in a cafe that serves people who prefer the… cold-shouldered approach attracts a lot of weirdos. Kagami has seen enough ahegao shirts pass through the doors to last a lifetime. At least the job itself is flexible. When she first started working here Kagami took one look at the black, frilly uniform with an unreasonably small apron and stared down her boss until they relented and allowed her to dress however she wanted. She can get by wearing simple black slacks and a plain shirt and all she has to do is act aloof and serve the customers. An easy win-win if you ask her.

That doesn't deter the blonde boy who brought the reluctant looking blue haired girl from eyeing Kagami with a sense of awe that's common for a lot of first-timers. 

"Um, table for two?" the girl asks. 

"Sure, whatever," Kagami sighs to keep up the act. She snatches a menu card and walks briskly to a table without waiting for them to follow. She can hear the guy behind her reassuring the girl about their treatment.

"Chill, Marinette, this is the whole concept of the cafe! Each maid is a jerk but eventually acts nice towards you. Nino told me he got a free cake slice once because he has, and I quote, 'the eyes of a sad turtle.'"

Kagami remembers that customer clearly. Alya was his server and she wouldn't stop talking for _ days _ after about the cute turtle boy.

"I see the appeal in anime," the girl Marinette says, "but that's fiction. I don't get why you'd want someone to act like that in real life."

There’s a scandalized gasp. "It's _ romance _ , milady! The angst, the tension, the passion! It all pays off in a melodramatic love confession-- usually in the rain or during some life or death situation. How could you not understand the epic highs and lows of attraction, Mari?"

"Adrien we're literally on a date right now." 

Yeah, this guy definitely reads too much shoujo. Kagami imagines rose petals falling around him.  _ Get it together, Tsurugi, _ she thinks,  _ they went to a tsundere cafe for a reason _ . She takes back what she said about them being a normie couple. She slaps the menu on the table and shrugs. 

“It’s simple: people like when a hot guy is mean to them in one moment but sweet in the next.”

"Isn't that toxic?" Marinette asks while Adrien says with wide eyes, "What about hot girls?"

His lack of brain-to-mouth filter is getting a little concerning, if Kagami has to be honest. They take a seat, but Marinette still doesn't look convinced.

"It’s a form of roleplaying. Perhaps you should see for yourself," Kagami offers before gesturing to her coworker Luka in the far side of the cafe. He's leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets and slouching. It's a sight that's made better by the fact that he actively chooses to wear the cringey uniform. The ruffles and tulle really bring out his slender legs.

Nearby is a table with three people, giggling and waving to get his attention. Kagami recognizes them as his regulars who come to the cafe every week. He shuffles disinterestedly to them.

"What is it?" he asks in a bored voice.

A person with short purple hair raises their hand. "Can we get two lemonades, a peach tea, and a fruit tart to share?"

Luka rolls his eyes. "I'll see what we have." 

He walks away as the table loudly chatters on about him.

"I love his dress!"

“He speaks so plainly to us!”

"Did he memorize our orders? Amazing!"

When Luka comes back he’s holding a tray with their drinks in one hand and a ratty old blanket in the other. The tray he haphazardly drops onto the table and the blanket he yeets at the purple haired person's face.

They splutter. "Hey! What's this for?"

He poses off to the side, shooting an aloof glance to them. "The AC is on high and I noticed you're wearing shorts today. Use it so you don’t get cold while drinking your lemonade.”

Luka slinks back to the kitchen area as squeals erupt from the table. 

"He acts like he doesn't care but he does!"

"Wow he's so cool!"

"His words are so cold but his actions warm my heart!"

Marinette looks mildly disgusted yet intrigued. Adrien on the other hand has literal stars in his eyes.

"I want him the next time we go here," he says dreamily.

"What, I'm not good enough for you?" Kagami snarks. She doesn't feel hurt about it but this is her  _ job _ . She'll take any chance to earn a new regular and earn more tips. 

He stutters, face red. "Uh-- no! I--"

Marinette grabs the menu and scans it quickly. "I'll have a strawberry shortcake and he'll have two éclairs," she fires off to change the subject. It successfully redirects Adriens attention.

"I love a woman who takes charge," he says, turning his moony eyes to her. She bats at his arm and smiles.

"Yeah...okay, I'll get your food now." 

-

Kagami dumps a couple of sandwiches and some iced tea on their table. "Here."

"We didn't order this," Marinette says, confused.

One requirement for the maid position at the cafe is having an uncanny sense of intuition. It helps for the hosts to know what the customer wants all while staying in character. Kagami’s personal instinct is so strong the owner hired her on the spot.

She looks away stoically. "You seemed hungry when you ordered. It's on the house, too. I'll bring your pastries when you finish." Then comes the phrase Kagami always struggles with--God help her because she can't act cute to save her life. "You better eat it or I'll be angry~"

Her pout must work because Kagami can see hearts manifest in the couple's eyes in real time.

"Wow," Marinette breathes. "Please marry me. Or-- us. Do three way marriages exist?"

Adrien shoves her lightly. "You skipped a few steps there, you goob. What my lady’s trying to say is-- would you like to go on a date with us sometime in the future?"

Kagami blinks. "I would be interested but you do know this--" she waves her hand in circles around herself "--is all pretend, right? I am not this sarcastic outside of my shift."

"It's true we don't know you," Marinette.exe recovers enough to speak again. "But that's what first dates are for, right? Learning about each other? We can get lunch as friends first if that's what you're comfortable with. How about it?"

People have hit on Kagami before. It  _ sucks _ but it's part of the territory when you work at a maid cafe. But no one’s ever wanted to get to know her outside of being a tsundere server.

Kagami does something she's never done before in her entire life. She  _ blushes.  _ She nods in confirmation and walks back to the kitchen to let the couple eat.

Her day ends with fatter pockets from tips and two new numbers saved on her phone.

_ Maybe weebs deserve some rights _ , she thinks with a smile as she clocks out.

**Author's Note:**

> this made me miss going to cafes LMAO


End file.
